


Larkspur

by dyivwad



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: F/M, Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan References, Top Erwin Smith
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-10
Updated: 2021-02-10
Packaged: 2021-03-16 16:55:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,837
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29335662
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dyivwad/pseuds/dyivwad
Summary: This is a reader x Erwin Smith. I wrote this in 5 hours instead of paying attention in class. Hope y’all enjoy it and it’s going to be typos because i’m to lazy to go over 5000 words and correct them. Hope you like it.
Relationships: Erwin Smith & Reader
Kudos: 3





	Larkspur

**Author's Note:**

> Some songs you should listen to
> 
> Super Rich Kids- Frank Ocean  
> Pretty Boy! -Morgan Reese  
> Still Dreaming - Raveena  
> Drew Barrymore - SZA  
> When I’m in Your Arms- Cleo Sol  
> You Know Wassup - Kehlani  
> Too Deep - dvsn  
> Lost One- Jazmine Sullivan

As you sit on the hard stone floor waiting for Mikasa to finish fawning over Eren you recollect when you first joined the scouts. It wasn’t the same as Eren’s motives to kill all titans or as Armin’s to finally touch the salty ocean. No, as for you, your reason was something more selfish, to finally be able to stand beside your childhood hero, Erwin Smith. Though the two of you briefly met during the tear jerking enrollment speech, it seemed as if he had no intent to get to know you or any of the scouts for that matter. Maybe he truly did see you all as sacrifices toward the greater good, just like the rumors said. You drop your head between your knees as you let out a sigh. You close your eyes imagining what it would feel like as Erwin ran his frigid hands over your body, his frosty blue eyes piercing your soul. His twisted smile as he watched you squirm underneath him. You jump as Mikasa taps your shoulder. “What’s wrong with you”? she says with a concerned look plastered across her face. You violently rub your eyes trying to get the image out of your head. “Nothing” you smile, “ Should we get going? You know Captain Levi would throw a fit if we were late again”. You stand up and look ahead at the cadets training to put their life’s on the line for the walls. You sigh and begin to walk toward the training center. 

As you arrive you see Sasha kicking up dirt as Connie sits next to her going on about his latest win against Jean is spades. You see Eren and Reiner spearing against each other in attempts to become better than the rest of you. To the rear you see Captain Levi and Commander Erwin discussing their training plans and how the Scouts will get outside the walls in the desperate attempt to get to Eren’s basement. You stare at Erwin for what seems like an eternity, marveling his beauty and leader-like elegance. Commander Erwin looks toward you as your eyes lock for a brief moment, he lets out a chuckle before turning his attention back to Levi. You feel the butterflies is your stomach scatter as your whole body heats up. Your thoughts are all over the place as you try to understand the meaning behind Commander Erwins actions. Your thoughts are cut short as Captain Levi shouts out the plans for today. “Listen up Cadets today Commander Erwin and I will be splitting you up into groups, these groups are going to be working on you as a team, and you as an individual. For the love of god. TAKE. IT. SERIOUSLY.” With that Captain Levi starts naming different cadets and who they would be placed with. Captain Levi calls your name following with Commander Erwin. You stand still wondering if for once fate was finally on your side. “CADET GET MOVING” Captain Levi shouts “Y-Yes Captain” you place your right hand over you heart, saluting Captain Levi and run over to Commander Erwin.

Erwin clears his throat and begins his introduction “Nice to meet you cadets, I hope you all learn something from today’s training, now without further ado, let’s get started.” You all salute Commander Erwin as he placed you all in pairs. When it gets time to placing you, you realize that there isn’t anyone left to pair with. You pick at the skin on your thumb and bit your lip. You open your mouth to say that you can sit this one out but before you can Erwin placed his firm hand on you shoulder, “Looks like I get to show off my skills to this young cadet today” He jokes, “Would you mind pairing with me cadet?” He looks at you, his hair glimmering under the sun. You shake your head and smile. “Commander I look forward to this opportunity.” Commander Erwin nods his head and clears his throat, “Then cadets, lets start off with partnered spearing. Your objective is to get the knife away from your opponent”. You swallow a lump in your throat wondering if you can even get within touching distance of Commander Erwin, let alone take a knife away from him. Commander smiles at you as if he can read your mind, “Don’t worry cadet, today you wield the power”. He throws the wooden knife toward you as you struggle to catch it. You legs lock up and your palms seem as slippery as ice. You take deep shaky breaths as you try to calm yourself. The last thing you wanted to do was embarrass yourself in-front of your peers and Commander Erwin. You brace yourself as you look at the Commander who is already in a defensive stance. You grip the knife and rush Commander Erwin aiming for his abdomen. As you push forward he grabs your arm and sweeps your feet, you feel the defeat enter your body and you head toward the hard ground. But before you land, Commander Erwin catches you, his hand cradling the back of your head, “You see cadets, the mistake she made was only focusing on one part of my body”. Your face turns hot as you become painstakingly aware of his hands, one of them places on nape of your neck as the other is wrapped around your wrist. “Are you alright cadet”? You look up at Commander, his face inches away from yours his brows furrow with concern. “I’m okay Commander, thank you” You try to get up, but when you do you let out a loud hiss. You curse under your breath as you try to gain your balance but your ankle doesn’t agree with you, as your body falls to one side Commander Erwin catches you, planting your face into his chest <>> he wraps his hand around you and once again ask if your okay. “Yes, I’m okay Commander” you say unconvincingly as you wince when your foot touches the ground. “I apologize cadet, it seems as if I put to much strength behind the kick”. You clench your jaw, once again feeling as though you weren’t worthy of standing beside him. “For now let’s get you to the infirmary” Commander says and he crouches down with his back toward you, inviting you to a piggy back ride. You shake your head “N-No Commander, I’m really alright, it’s okay” Commander Erwin looks back at you, “It wasn’t a request it was an order cadet, get on.” You bite your lip and crawl onto Commander Erwins back. He props you on comfortably and begins walking, “is this what it feels like to be 6 feet tall” You say trying to break the slight tension in the air. Commander Erwin lets out a slight chuckle but doesn’t say anything. You tighten your mouth and rest your chin on his shoulder, wondering if your crossing boundaries. “Sorry Commander”, Commander Erwin stops and lets out a sigh, “Don’t be sorry for something you could never control, all you can be sorry for is if you never control what you can.” You nod and silently agree with him. Before you realize it, you’re reaching the infirmary. Erwin slides the door open and looks around and notices nobody is there, “Well I’ll leave you here, when the doctor comes let them know I dropped you off”. He nods and turns around but before he can leave you grab the back of his jacket. “Commander, thank you really, thank you for giving me the opportunity to spear against you” you feel you throat tighten as this may be the last time the two of you meet face to face. You feel your eyes welling up, you never would have thought he had this much of an impact on you. Commander Erwin turns around and grabs your hand, “Don’t take one lose to hard cadet, you have your whole life ahead of you to make mistakes”. His words were the final hit to the dam, the tears you were trying so hard to hold back finally flowed freely. Through your tears and hiccups your attempted to get out a sentence “I-i’ll n-never be good e-enough to sit next t-to you, ILL NEVER BE GOOD AT ANYTHING” you cried out. Commander Erwin looks at you stunned, lost for words his mouth remained slightly opened. You feel like it was now or never, if you didn’t say it now, you don’t know if you would be able to be honest with yourself ever again. “I LOVE YOU COMMANDER, I LOVE YOU” you breathe out heavily, you squeeze your eyes shut, the room fell silent as you could feel Commander Erwins eyes piercing into your soul, trying to examining your thoughts. “I-i’m sorry Commander, you can forget what i just said” your ankle seemed to be stinging more than before, maybe it was trying to cover up the stinging in your heart. You attempt to get up and make your way past Commander Erwin but as make your way closer to the door he grabs hold of your hand. He pulls his face closer to yours and opens his mouth, he closes it before he opens it again, “Cadet.....are you aware that during any of these expeditions we could lose our lives, are you aware that people lose their lives everyday and never get to see their families again”? You feel a sense of guilt burning your body, of course you knew how selfish you were to even have the luxury to think about love while people are dying day and night. You look into his cold eyes, it felt as those you were being stared down by a snake, “Yes Commander, I am aware of that fact. But I’d rather die knowing i lived, not just existed. I joined the Scouts to be better than the pathetic little girl who watched her parents be crushed by rocks. I want to be better than the me who can’t even wield a knife right, let alone use ODM gear to kill titans, I JUST WANT TO BE BETTER THAN SOMEONES WHOSE TO SCARED TO FACE THEMSELVES”! Commander Erwin looks shocked as he hesitantly lets go of your arm, you let out a shaky breath as you limp away. When your far enough from the infirmary you fall on your knees and let out a scream that contained years of hurt, pain, and betrayal. 

It took you half a hour to finally reach the cadets cabins, you were sure that dinner was already over and you would be lucky if someone let you in. You limp around the back and sneak through a window that Ymir usually leaves open so she can sneak out at night and visit Krista. You try to crawl through the window but your ankle makes it almost impossible, you prop one leg on the window pane but you lose your balance falling back on the ground. “Shit”, you curse under your breath, maybe you would have to sleep outside and hope to catch Mikasa when she went for her daily runs so she could open the door. You put your back on the cold wood of the cabin and let out a deep breath, today was certainly the day. You think about how you would act around Commander Erwin and what excuses you would make. You doze off thinking about the next day. You awake to somebody walking toward you, it’s to dark to see anything but you make out a tall figure. “Commander Erwin?” you say in a small confused voice. The figure lights a candle and the small flame illuminates Commander Erwins structured face. You look away as he inches closer to you and he drapes his cloak around your shoulders. “Let’s go to my cabin and talk about it cadet”. The word cadet stung you as you recognized that to him, you could never stand beside him as anything more than a cadet. You drop you head and shoo him off, he grabs your hand and pulls it closer to him, “I think we should talk about this, so we can clear up and misunderstands and lead a professional relationship.” You let out a sarcastic laugh, “Ha! Commander I don’t how you misunderstood, but i’ll say it again, I FUCKING LOVE YOU! ” you exclaim. You push him away “Now if you still don’t understand, i’m sorry”. Commander Erwin lets out a sigh and pulls you closer to him, “Cadet, instead of screaming out here about how you are in love with your Commander, how about we talk about this somewhere else.” Commander Erwin raises his eyebrow as he waits for your response. Commander stands and reaches his hand out to you, “Let’s go”, he says in a deep voice. You wait for a minute before he says “let’s go” again, you roll your eyes and grab his hand. He wraps his hand around your waist and helps you to walk. The two of you make your way to his cabin in the dusk of the night. 

As you reach the cabin, Commander Erwin reaches for his keys, struggling to put them in the keyhole. You let out a sigh and grab them away from him putting them in the hole and turning the keys. Commander Erwin smiles and opens the door, he walks you into the room and helps you sit in a nearby chair. “Make yourself comfortable” he says as he begins t pour water into a wooden cup. You shuffle in the chair feeling nervous about the talk Commander Erwin is probably about to lay out. Commander Erwin hands you the cup and sits in the chair opposite to yours. You stare and the cup, watching the tea stem swirling around. Commander Erwin clears his throat and looks at you, “Y/N I understood what you were saying, but I want you to understand how I cannot give you what you are looking for” you feel all the hopes that you held drop the minute he finished his sentence. You picked the skin on your sore thumb thinking of words to counter his explanation. Erwin places his hand over your thumb and looks you in your eyes, “I’m sorry” he says. You look at him, examining his face. You let out a slight sigh as you cupped his face, he looks at you puzzled, you rest your forehead on his, feeling comforted by the heat that’s protruding. You pull away and look at his face, you smile at him and pull his face close for a kiss. You open your lips and allow your tongue to explore his, for a moment he does nothing, but then he slightly opens his mouth allowing your tongue full access. You both share a passionate kiss before he pulls away, a string of saliva drips down your chin. You breath staggered as you try to collect your thoughts. Commander Erwin’s face is red and his eyes stare at you with want. You climb on top of Commander Erwin’s lap steading yourself. “We shouldn’t do this cadet” he says under his breath. You know what your doing is wrong, but if it was really wrong why did it feel so right? You grind on Commander Erwin as he lets out a soft groan, you cup his face again going in for another passionate breath-taking kiss. Commander wraps his arms around your waist as his hands find their way lower and lower. Your about to go in for another kiss when Commander Erwin picks you up and gently carries you over to the bed. He places you down and removes his shirt. You see the years of battle scars and work to build such a sculpted body. You kiss each scar as you hear his heart beating rapidly, slowly you take off your clothes. He looks at you with a tempted look, “Are you sure you want to cross this line cadet?” You nod your head and unbuckle his belt, he runs his hand on your head and you pull out his cock, waiting to be touched. You marvel at the shape and size, this was the first time you’d seen one so big. You look up at him as you roll your tongue up and down his shaft. He rolls his head back and lets out small groans. “G-god that feels so good”, he says. You feel a sense of pride and you use both your mouth and hands. While it’s in your mouth Erwin comes, the taste was slightly sweet and it made your mouth sticky. Commander Erwin panics and hands you a handkerchief, you spit in it while holding eye contact with him. He looks away flustered and rubs the back of his neck, “I’m sorry that was rude of me” you smile and tug at his arm. “Don’t be the only one that feels good Commander” you say in the best sexy voice you can manage. He contemplates it for a second but then he get on his knees and pulls your panties aside. <<>> He kisses your thighs and slowly makes his way up to your area. He pulls your lower lips away and licks your clit, you let out a loud gasp as he chuckles into your lap. Commander Erwin puts his tongue into your hole, exploring all the parts that made you feel good. “Right there C-commander don’t s-stopppp”. You whine as he holds onto your hips, slowly devouring you. With his mouth alone he made you experience a feeling that you never felt before. He lifted his head up as you twitched and shook below him, a smirk spread across his face. “You’re really sensitive Y/N” he said, your body twitched again at the sound of him calling your name. He puts his cock onto you, “Can i” he says like a puppy asking for a treat. You nod your head yes and breath as he enters you. The pleasure was better than anything. “I’m going to move” he said, his voice strained. You brace yourself as he begins to thrust, each moment getting to closer to climax. “Oh C-commander please, that f-feels so go-od “ He leans closer to your ear and whispers, “Call me Erwin Y/N”. You tighten around him as you feel each stroke and thrust. “ERWIN, ERWIN” you scream as you feel him getting bigger inside of you. He closes in the space to give you another kiss, both of you moaning inside of each other’s mouth. “Your too loud” he whispers with a smirk. You wrap you arms around his neck and whisper into his ear “Don’t stop moving”. He shakes his head and continues to thrust into your hole. “I-I’m c-coming” you say shakily, “Me too” he says as he finishes of with a strong stroke. You curl your toes and twitch, letting the pleasure seep throughout your body. Erwin pats your head and pulls out, all the white sticky liquid pouring out of you.

“You can use the bathroom to get cleaned up”. He says avoiding eye contact with you. You feel hurt, you know you both made a mistake but wasn’t it worth it? Did he feel like I wasn’t enough just like everybody else? You rest your head in you hands and thought for a second what would happen to your relationship as commander and cadet. You let out yet another sigh and gather your clothes. “It’s fine Erwi- *ahem* Commander, I’ll just take a bath at the cadets quarter’s” Erwin nods his head, “that probably for the best”. You look back at him once more before walking out the door. His seed still leaking down your leg, this time it made you more empty than full. It’s dawn before you make it back to the cadets cabins and luckily the bathhouse is open. Inside it’s empty, you take the opportunity to finally enjoy some you time. You soak your body in the hot water as you remember the load that was still inside you. Regret fills you and you sink deeper into the water. Before you know it, tears are rolling down your face. You couldn’t stop it, once again you were balling like a child. “Just why did you have to let your lust take over?” you yell.  
The door to the bathhouse opens and Mikasa steps in, another concerned look on her face. I knew she heard me and I didn’t have the energy to try to pretend to be okay. She came closer and pulled me in for a tight hug. “Do you wanna talk about it” she says in a quiet voice? I shake my head but continues to let her embrace me. “Let’s get out of here and get you some rest” she says as she offers a small smile. I nod and get out of the water. 

NEXT DAY  
The afternoon crows awoke me, Mikasa was sleep by my side and a cold towel was slipping off my forehead. My body felt heavy but I knew I couldn’t stay and sleep all day. I stood up and put my uniform on. It was clean with a new pair of socks. I looks at Mikasa and smiled. “Thank you” I said under my breath. I swing my jacket over my shoulders and walk out the door. I looks back at the bunks, an unfamiliar feeling comes over me, I close the door behind me and I walk over to the training center. When I get there Captain Levi and Erwin seem to be having a serious conversation, grim expressions plastered over their faces. I walk over to the two of them and salute, “Captain Levi , Good Afternoon, where am I stationed for the day?” Captain Levi nodded, “Today you will join Commander Erwin in briefing the cadets on the emergency expedition that will take place tomorrow”. My gut sinks “TOMORROW?!? Captain why weren’t we informed about this?” Captain Levi looks as me with annoyance, “DO YOU REALLY THINK I WANT SEND YOU ALL OUT THERE? The military police are pushing that we show some results after gaining Eren’s titan.” I swallow spit, yes I knew that it was a matter of time before we had to do another expedition, but the last one took so many soldiers lives. “Cadet” Erwin stepped in “I know you must be feeling anxious, I did too when ever expeditions were held, but you have to realize how much closer we are to knowing what titans are-“. Before Erwin could finish I put my hand up, “Please don’t do this right now Commander, you may be okay with throwing your life on the line for a theory, BUT IM NOT” Captain Levi pushes me back “Your out of line Cadet Y/N”. I take a breath and walk away as Erwin calls after me. I hear me gaining on me but I force my legs to walk faster. Finally he grabs my forearm and pulls me into a nearby ODM storage room. He pushes me against the wall as he catches his breath, it feels good to see him flustered for one. The cracks in the ceiling allow the orange sky to peek through. “What do you want Commander” I say digging my fingernails into my arm. “Y/N please, why are you acting like this?”. I’m dumbfounded, does he really not know? “Why am I acting like this?” I scoff “I’m acting like this because I know that you will never fall for me as hard as i fell for you, i’m acting like this because you will always use those around you to get what you want, i’m acting like this because once again I LOVE YOU but i can’t love somebody who won’t love me” I catch my breath, it felt like a weight had been lifted of my heart and i could finally feel it again. Erwin grabbed my face and looked me in my eyes, once again those blue eyes as mysterious as the ocean tried to study me. “I don’t know what love is Y/N, I don’t want to hurt you with my version of love, i don’t want to leave you alone one day” I looks at him as he opens his mouth but no word come out, if he really means that, maybe he does love me but doesn’t know how to deal with it. “Do you love me Erwin”? I say, ready to risk it all. He looks at me, a pained look on his face “ I don’t know Y/N, i just don’t know”. I scoff and rub his face leaning it “I love you Erwin Smith” I say as I give him a kiss, “When you get an answer to your question, let me know yeah?” I open the door and leave, he soon follows behind me and we head over to the cadets preparing to tell them that this may be their last day alive. 

As we broke the news to the cadets many stood their shocked, many broke down with tears, many started to vomit their lunch and breakfasts. A few ran away. Nobody could deny the fact that people would die, nobody knew who thought. A lump formed in my throat as I thought about how my friends could be titan feed in a matter of 24 hours. I feel my self getting dizzy as I excuse my self from the stadium. Some cadets cling on to me, asking to be exempted, not like I had the power to do so. I understood the grief they were going through, many of my friends went on these expeditions and came back wrapped in white. I make my way back to the cadet quarters and lay down on my bed, thought racing though my mind. “This could be my last day here. I could die. Erwin never said he loved me. I hope my little brother is okay. Maybe the neighbors are taking care of the stray cats”. Tears fall down my cheek as i start sobbing uncontrollably. One thought couldn’t leave my mind no matter how hard I tried. “I DON’T WANT TO DIE”.  
I staggered over to the desk that all the cadets shared and pulled out a piece of paper. Tears fell onto the paper, soiling the ink as I poured my heart onto two sheets. That night, I slept peacefully. For the first time I slept with no regrets in my heart. My eyes felt heavy but at least my heart didn’t.  
The morning of the expedition came fast, I said goodbye to Mikasa like usual and headed to the walls. My position was in the vanguard, three positions away from Erwin. I propped my self onto my horse and checked the heavy ODM gear that weighed me down. “THIS IS THE 57th EXTERIOR SCOUTING MISSION. MY SOLDIERS...FIGHTTTTTT!” Commander Erwin shouts as he raises his sword into the air and points it toward the rising gate. Roars and cheers follow as we head outside the walls, a while later the gate closes behind us. We were now in titan territory. 

The wind is brushing against my face as we smoothly make our way toward a deep forest. Erwin makes his way toward me and begins to slow down, i follow. “Cadet Y/N, I have something I would like to say to you” I look at him and he has a sheepish expression across his face. “What is it” I ask curiously, my eyebrow raised. He clears his throat and smiles at me “I’ll tell you when we get home” He then speeds up and joins Captain Levi’s group. I groan but can’t help but feel happy, if he says to me what i think he is going to say, then I have no choice but to be happy. However that happiness soon fades as a black smoke shoots it’s way up into the sky. “A-AN ABNORMAL, THAT MEANS AN ABNORMAL RIGHT?!” a cadet behind me shouted “JESUS CHRIST NOT NOW” I shout as i shoot up a black smoke, the process continues until every group has shot one letting the Commander know. Nothing happens for what felt like forever, “M-maybe the rearguard killed it” I shook my head in agreement but couldn’t shake the feeling that something was wrong in my stomach.  
*BOOM* *BOOM* *BOOM *BOOM*  
The sound of footsteps shook the entire earth. The cadets behind me screamed in horror, “CADETS PULL YOUR SHIT TOGETH-“. Before I could finish my sentence I laid eyes on the skinless titan. I’d never seen anything like it, Instructor Sadies never mentioned anything about a FEMALE TITAN. My whole body froze, all the training I endured for the past 5 years disappeared, instead replaced with fear and despair. “W-WHAT DO WE DO CADET Y/N”. My voice wouldn’t come out, I’d never won against a titan, let alone an abnormal. “CADET WHAT DO WE DO” the cadet repeated. “a-ATTACK” I screamed. The cadets nodded and attached the wires onto the female titan. I followed and attached one onto her lower leg. She swatted away two of the six cadets that were on her. In front of my eyes she crushed and stepped on all 5 member of my team. I let out a scream, “WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS, WHAT DID HUMANS EVER DO TO TITANS”! For a brief second it was life she heard me, I prepared my body to slice out her eyes. If i couldn’t take her down I would at least prevent her from seeing the rest of the cadets. I attached the spike onto her forehead and propelled myself into the air. “TAKE THIS” i said as i came across her eyes with both blades. I felt a sense of accomplishment that i hadn’t felt before. Though every good thing is short lived.  
Before I could detach myself the abnormal titan grabbed my whole body with one hand. Squeezing with a grip that could take down the Colossal. I coughed up blood, “STOP PLEASE, PLEASE I DON’T WANT TO DIEEEE” I pleaded. The titan stopped for a second to scan the area and then started running as if she saw something. Fear was not what I felt in this moment, it was more like relief. Maybe it had forgotten about me and would let me live. Maybe it heard my plea and allowed me to live another day. The titan ran for a while until she arrived into the forrest. Her grip tightened as she ran and I coughed up more blood. I could feel my whole body being crushed. She ran more until she suddenly stopped, I looked around and saw all the cadets standing on the trees, cannons surrounding us. I saw many familiar faces but one that stood out from the rest was Commander Erwins. He looked at me with pain in his eyes, a twisted look on his face that didn’t look good on him. I smiled, i wanted him to smile back, i didn’t want to die with such a face in my memory. I couldn’t hear what they were saying, maybe my hearing had gone when she first grabbed me. The cadets put their hands up as they were signaling that they were going to start the canons, i shook my head violently. If i was going to die, it wasn’t going to be by cannons. It seemed as if Commander Erwin saw me and put his hand down, at this time Captain Levi appeared beside his and the started talking. I started to cry, this couldn’t possibly how I go out. No I refuse to let this be. Maybe I could say something to the female titan like I did before but before I could say anything the cannons started going off. The titan enclosed me in her other hand as she protected her nape. “THE TITAN IS INTELLIGENT” i thought to myself. The vibrations of cannon fire shook my whole body, and a shriek pierced my ears. It was quiet for a moment until heavy footsteps started coming towards me. Was it just my imagination? The titan took her hand down and looked at me. Was she going to let me go? She stared at me a little longer before she let out a sinister shriek once more, I covered my ears and looked at her. I looked down noticed my ODM gear was still attached. Maybe, just maybe i could be the one to take her down i thought. I struggled to stand as i let my ODM gear shoot a hook into her shoulder, I zipped my self behind her head and headed for her naps. I could hear Erwin telling me to talk back but I couldn’t just stop there, the nape was right in my reach. I go forward and slash into her nape.

I land on her shoulder and look, I look as her nape begins to regenerate. “Ah, this is it” I thought. The female titan grabbed me again and threw me against a tree as hard as she could. I threw up even more blood then when she first grabbed me. “Y/N” I could hear Erwin yelling in the background. My vision became clouded and my hearing became fuzzy. When they say your life passes before your eyes when you die, it’s true. I remembered when I got my first figurine of Commander Erwin, when i helped my mom cook dinner, when my little brother was born, when me and my parents were running away from the Armored titan, when i first successfully used ODM gear, when Erwin spent our first night together, i remembered it all. I could feel my life fading. Was I happy with it at all? I saw Erwin fly down to me, he cupped my head and held my stomach. I guess he was looking for a wound. Tears fell down his cheeks and snot ran down his nose. I never would have thought that I would see The Commander Erwin Smith crying like a little child. I smile and reach to wipe away his tears. “I love your Erwin Smith” I say faintly, I gathered all my strength to say that, I hope he heard it. He put his face close to mine “Y/N, please don’t leave me, please i have to tell you that i love you, we have to get home, we have to make love again, we have to get married, we have to have children, we have to retire, we still need to watch our children grow, WE HAVE TO DIE TOGETHER”. I smile “You finally said it Erwin, I love you so much” I said choking on blood and tears. I hugged him with everything i had before my grip loosened and my breath escaped me. If there’s a God, I ask that you protect this man, I really truly loved him. 

The End

**Author's Note:**

> Hope y’all enjoyed it. If you guys want, I can write a continuation about the note she wrote and how Erwin copes with her death. also this was my first time writing so i know it’s probably gonna be bad but that doesn’t really matter cause i enjoyed writing it.


End file.
